When Respect Goes Missing: Turning around a toxic project environment
The Challenge
Taking over a troubled project mid-stream is never easy, but inheriting one with toxic team dynamics can be especially daunting. I once stepped into a critical system upgrade project where the stakeholder relationships had deteriorated so severely that a previous contractor had been removed, and team morale was at an all-time low.
The project involved upgrading a foundational system that hadn't been updated in five years—a system that processed all transactions and generated revenue for the organization. The stakes were high, the timeline was compressed, and the working environment was deeply dysfunctional.
Establishing Ground Rules
After attending just two status meetings, I recognized the severity of the situation. The meetings were contentious, disrespectful, and unproductive. When I officially took over, I made an unprecedented move: I explicitly stated my expectations to the entire team.
"I require respect," I told them. "I expect it, and I require it."
I also made it clear that if anyone had concerns about my approach or felt uncomfortable with any direction I provided, they should speak up—either to me directly, to their manager, or to my supervisor. The goal was to create an environment where people could voice concerns without suffering in silence.
The Root of the Problem
One particular stakeholder had created a climate of fear through intimidation tactics. Her management style was so problematic that staff members had actually circulated a petition calling for her removal. She even requested disciplinary actions against project team members who were not available for weekend deployment due to religious reasons.
This fear-based leadership approach had consequences: project team members stopped speaking up in status meetings. They had valuable information to share, but were too intimidated to voice it in front of this particular stakeholder.
Creating Safe Spaces
Recognizing this pattern, I developed a workaround. I made myself available for one-on-one conversations after status meetings. Team members began pulling me aside to provide updates individually—information that should have been shared openly in meetings.
The most significant intervention came during the lessons learned sessions. I made a deliberate decision to hold two separate meetings: one with management and one with the frontline teams. For the teams' session, I implemented several trust-building measures:
- No recording of the meeting
- No dial-in option—attendance had to be in person
- Use of the sailboat retrospective method with anonymous sticky notes
- Same color notes and pens for everyone to ensure anonymity
- A commitment not to share individual attribution
I physically stepped away while team members wrote their feedback and posted it anonymously. When we reviewed the notes together, I didn't ask anyone to identify themselves as the author. If someone felt comfortable speaking up, they could; if not, we simply discussed the feedback as written.
By the end of that session, something remarkable happened: everyone in the room was participating. The safe space had worked.
The Results
The team feedback was comprehensive, covering technology, tools, processes, and communication. They also gave kudos where deserved. However, the number one complaint across all feedback was the lack of respect from leadership.
When I met with the management team, I presented these findings directly and candidly. I essentially told them: "Your people have a problem with how you treat them, and this project would have gone much more smoothly if there had been better communication and mutual respect."
The project sponsor was impressed by this direct approach. More importantly, the organization took action. Following that upgrade and the lessons learned sessions, they made significant changes to leadership and team structure. They also established a regular cadence for system upgrades to avoid the five-year gap that had created such a high-stakes situation.
Key Takeaways
This experience reinforced several important principles for managing difficult stakeholder relationships:
- Establish clear expectations early - Don't assume professional behavior; explicitly require it
- Create safe channels for feedback - When people fear speaking up, provide alternative ways to share information
- Protect your team - As a project manager, your role includes advocating for team members who may not have the power to advocate for themselves
- Document and report factually - Present issues objectively without assigning blame, allowing the facts to speak for themselves
- Build trust through action - Keep your promises, maintain confidentiality when appropriate, and demonstrate that you're a neutral party focused on project success
The timing of these changes proved crucial. The organization immediately launched another major initiative afterward, and the improvements in team dynamics and leadership approach were essential to that project's success.
Sometimes managing difficult stakeholders isn't about learning to work with their dysfunction—it's about having the courage to call it out and create the conditions for meaningful change.